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Dating Madness - 1 of 5

By Ryan, January 3, 2007

Some of us like to take part in the ancient ritual known to us as New Year’s Resolutions. Every year from 2002 to 2006, I resolved to have a girlfriend sometime by the end of the year. I started hitting on girls, and most of them responded in a way I didn’t want. I’ve gotten the good old-fashioned easy letdown, the punch in the gut, and everything in between. This year, I resolved not to rush into having a girlfriend, and, thanks to a book by Joshua Harris, I have perfectly legit reasoning for such.

1. We often try to skip the part where we’re “just friends”

This zinger probably nailed just about every person in my teenage audience. Even if you have never had a girlfriend, you’ve probably at least looked at a girl you didn’t know very well and thought of her as a potential girlfriend.

The two most common mistakes in this category would begin with the one I just described. The nubmer two most common mistake is along the lines of: “Well, I’ve known her for x number of days. Now I can ask her out.” I’ll be honest; I have been more than guilty of both.

The main difference between being friends and going out, as written by Harris, boils down to one paragraph:

The premise of dating is “I’m attracted to you; therefore, let’s get to know each other.” The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is “We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.” If, after developing a friendship, romantic attraction forms, that’s an added bonus.
Harris, Joshua. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Oregon: Multnomah Publishers, Inc., 1997. (Harris 35)

Labels: Dating, Relationships

{ Posted 10:25 PM | E-Mail Post | Edit Post }

 Ryan:

For the record, I believe the pity date to be the worst thing that a person can do to someone else’s love life. NEVER try it.

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